What is this ‘consent’ all about?  Why is it sexy?  Why is it important?

If you Google ‘What is consent?’, this is what comes up →

When speaking in terms of sexual relations, consent can make or break a deal.  Having a clear understanding of what your partners boundaries are is key to making sure all parties are having a great time.  If something is misunderstood or assumed, it can cause emotional and sometimes long lasting scars.  Having the ability to communicate your needs is a must for fun and safe playtime.

First, you have to know yourself.  You should have a good idea of what you like, what you dislike, what you are absolutely against, and what you are willing to try & how much.  Then you need to be comfortable enough to express these things to your lover.  Your lover should be open enough to want to hear you out.  Try to discuss these items when you aren’t in the middle of a heat filled passion.  As you can imagine, you might not be able to express yourself the way you need or intent to.  Understand it’s ok to change your mind.  If something starts to feel unsafe or not ‘right’, you always have the option of changing your mind and expressing this to your lover.

That’s ok!  Not every person is comfortable discussing sexual desires opening and freely.  You can express this to your lover.  Just let them know you are a little embarrassed and it may take sometime to say everything you desire to say.  Giggles, laughter, long pauses, and stuttering is absolutely ok if you’re having problems.  The fact that you are attempting to discuss things is a major step.  Be patient with yourself.  It takes time.

Just remember

• Know yourself
• Be patient with yourself
• Give yourself permission to change to your mind

]]> http://www.sophiastjames.com/consent-is-sexy/feed/ 0 http://www.sophiastjames.com/mouth-to-mouth-guest/ http://www.sophiastjames.com/mouth-to-mouth-guest/#comments Tue, 09 Aug 2011 03:09:22 +0000 admin http://www.sophiastjames.com/?p=1218 Continue reading →]]>

The lovely ladies at Mouth to Mouth have invited me to be their monthly special guest to discuss sexual and kink related issues.  Last month, we talk about bondage in the bedroom and how any couple can make it sexy and fun.  Plus we discussed various items to be used for bondage and restraints. I will be a guest on their show the second Tuesday of every month.

For tomorrows show, we’ll be discussing all thing oral.  Fellatio, Cunnilingus, and Analingus will be on everyones lips tomorrow, well at least my lips!

Tune in at 3p PST and learn or refresh your memory on the ins and outs of oral delights.
You can chat live with us and ask questions!

Join in the fun—>
http://mouthtomouth.cascadia.fm

I am a crafter.  I love DIY and creating things with my own hands. I am a ‘touch’ kind of gal.  Since I was in high school I have always been a creator of my own design.  I actually sell some of my items in various shops and boutiques in Portland.  Most of the items sold in shops are small items.  Jewelry, handbags, clutches, pasties, fascinators, hair clips…

However, I do make clothing and work with wood. 
Below are all items I have sewn or embellished with fabric and trim.

It is something that I do when I am bored or feeling a little down.  Some smoke, I create .  I also have made evening gowns and formal wear for weddings, business meetings, and black tie affairs.

Many ask me how do I make things “so good”.  Well, it comes with practice and dedication.  Nothing comes easy and there will always be those projects that you sweep under the rug.  But anything that has your heart will turn out beautifully.  I also use the resources that are out there for crafters.  There are many books available at your library that will explain the ins and outs of any craft you are interested in learning.

Don’t have the money to craft, but still interested.  Thrift stores and dollar stores are great for finding cheap items.  You can find an old curtain for $2 and make a new, sassy skirt out of it.  An old comforter can become a cold weather vest.  Make a sexy, sheer lingerie gown out of an old sheer window veil.  And don’t sweat not having a sewing machine. You can borrow one VERY easily.  Plus if you join a local sewing club or crafters group, many of the  participants will share their equipment.  Some cities even have a sewing shop.  Think coffee shop with computers by the hour.  You can use sewing machines by the hour at these locations.  Not to mention, before the time of sewing machines, there was good old needle and thread.

Happy crafting!
xoxoxox

CIS-GENDERED

What does it mean? 
What do you think it means?
Where did it come from?
Why do we have it?

Answer this poll—>
Take Our Poll

Pt 2 will be the answers to all the above questions and more.

XOXOXOXOX

STARTING SOON - Chat with Sophia St. James on UStream every week at 8p (PST) starting on March 24th.

That’s right!  Touch it, feel it, look it, and know it.  It is so very important for those with female reproductive organs to stay on top of cervical health.  Notice I say ANYONE with female reproductive organs.  Unless you have had a hysterectomy, you should have cervical health exams once a year.  And even with a hysterectomy, you should have a check every 3 years.

Cervical cancer can be stopped early in it’s process.  IF you are aware of your body and get regular health checks.

Many find cervical checks to be uncomfortable.  But it is a necessary thing to do.  A good gynecologist will do a few things during the appointment.

• If they are new to you, they should introduce themselves.
• After the initial paperwork and general exam, they will have you undress (THEY SHOULD LEAVE THE ROOM FOR PRIVACY).
• Never should they just good for the gold.  They should calmly touch your leg and work their way to your vagina.
• They should talk about everything they are doing BEFORE doing it.
• The speculum should be warm and well lubricated.
• The speculum should be inserted slowly and slowly opened, then locked into place.

Things that will help you to relax.

• Do relaxation deep breathing (3 counts in through your nose, 3 counts out through your mouth)
• Drink some lavender or chamomile tea prior to the appointment.
• Bring someone you trust to hold your hand during the appointment.

Do your research before choosing your gynecologist.  If you want a women, trans friendly, feminist…find that one.  They are out there.

A friend of mine, Buck Angel, made a great video called, “Buck Angel’s Public Cervix Announcement’.  Watch it below and rate it. Help him get on the front page of You Tube!

[youtube]X_uNFmZHvO0[/youtube]

I will be teaching a stripping class at a local women ran sex shop, SheBop (909 N. Beech, 97227).  The class is Sunday, February 7th.  For only $12, come see me and learn various striptease techniques.

Striptease for your Lover

Stripping for Your Lover is a fun and sassy class designed for just about anyone who wants to get a little frisky with their lover.  Sophia St. James will guide you through various stretches that will help you move in the sensual and seductive way needed to entice any person.  Then she’ll take you right into the good stuff.  Learn techniques to twist, bend, shake, and wiggle your body in ways you never thought.  You will learn chair, standing, and couch techniques that anyone can use.

This class is suitable for all genders and all sexes.  Be sure to dress comfortably and bring a bottle of water.  $12, 7:30p-9p.

There will be many more classes, so stay tuned.

xoxoxox

Video is NSFW!!!  Shows boobies, but for educational purposes. Enjoy!

[bliptv]2943572[/bliptv]